s t i l l

still..
i cant fix our things back to normal
maybe this what we called normal
act like we're stranger and dont know each other

still..
i think of him
and he wont go away from my mind

still..
i hate him so much
and curse this idiotic condition
and being stupid keep trying to fix it all

still..
im trying to deny him and
bury him deep inside
or throw it away to the ocean

coffee shop

in the coffee shop at the afternoon
we sat and talked about things
i knew its hard for me and you

it was raining, we still in the coffee shop
with rihanna's song as backsound
we talked about it. me and you

we sat among the people in the coffee shop
face to face. eyes to eyes
its an absurd decription about reflection of mine
in your eyes

we still sitting on coffee shop
and it still raining
when i decided to live my own way
and make sure that i just be fine
without you in this period

and it was in coffee shop
when our story stopped before it starts again
when time couldnt made us
it was in coffee shop

you owe me a dance

after kisses you gave me
and on bended knee you ask me to back to you
i know there'e a little love inside of you
for me..

it was an empty heart and empty feelings
what i feel to you its nothing
it was only a kiss and so what?
i just have a promise to keep

i couldnt find a word to definite
to say that i still love you
i just couldnt

i couldnt find any words to say
all i said its just dont know
i only asked you to dance with me

and now, after those waving goodbye
and memories are turning grey then gone
the one thing left is
you owe me a dance

happy birthday to me..

happy birthday to me :)

bukan berarti gue nggak berharap sesuatu
yes im hoping it
nggak yakin.. but i keep hoping
until i back down into the past
until tears run down my face
sampai suatu saat gue nggak bisa control my emotion
until it all came up and exploded

sampai akhirnya detik terakhir
tak terasa namun masih ada
sampai akhirnya hari ini
there's no sign it'll happen

:((

...
aku terlanjur cinta kepadamu
dan tlah kuberikan sluruh hatiku
tapi mengapa baru kini kau pertanyakan cintaku

aku pun tak mengerti yg terjadi
apa salahku dan kurangku padamu
kini terlambat sudah untuk dipersalahkan
karena sekali cinta
aku tetap cinta
...

terlanjur cinta-rossa ft pasha (reff part)

mendingan jangan

kalau ragu.. nggak usah! mendingan jangan.
kalau nggak ragu.. usah! mendingan iya.
kalau cinta.. bilang! mendingan jangan.
kalau sepi.. teriak! mendingan iya.
kalau menunggu.. diam. mendingan jangan.



--2006

she's a fragile

she's a fragile.. she's always smiling but i know she's bleeding inside
she always happy.. but i know deep down inside she's crying
she wanted to go home.. but she couldnt.
she trapped in that feeling..
not so lonely, but maybe she just cant face the truth.
she just cant face it.
i know she's trying..
trying to be strong even she's powerless.
i know she's trying..
trying to smile even tears running down her face.
i know she's trying.. trying to be a fighter even she's got no weapon..
and i know..
she was me

november 7th..

Sore ini hujan. Aku melihat semua orang berlari-lari berusaha menghindari hujan yang dianggap bisa membuat pusing kalau kena kepala. Aku sendiri reflek mempercepat langkahku agar sampai di tempat teduh. reflek pula melindungi kepalaku dari hujan yang menyerbu. kenapa ya?

kadang-kadang aku ingin menikmati hujan. berjalan tenang mnerobos cucuran air dari langit. tidak merasa tergesa-gesa sehingga harus berlari-lari mencari tempat teduh. membiarkan diriku basah oleh hujan tanpa harus tanganku refleks melindungi kepalaku. kadang-kadang aku ingin kembali lagi menjadi anak kecil yang tersenyum sangat riang ketika air hujan membasahi tubuhnya. berlari-lari, hanyut dalam iramanya.

kalau dipikir-pikir, asik juga hujan-hujanan bersama kekasih..
tanpa kekasih, dengan teman pun juga asik. tapi siapa yang mau menemaniku sekarang? paling-paling mereka hanya menertawakanku atau bernostalgia sendiri.
mereka bilang aku sudah terlalu tua untuk itu.

i wont let him know about what im thinking about.
things like i like him.
cz im not quite sure what im feeling now.
things come too early.
and im not ready to confess

rainy

Sore ini hujan. Aku melihat semua orang berlari-lari berusaha menghindari hujan yang dianggap bisa membuat pusing kalau kena kepala. Aku sendiri reflek mempercepat langkahku agar sampai di tempat teduh. reflek pula melindungi kepalaku dari hujan yang menyerbu. kenapa ya?

kadang-kadang aku ingin menikmati hujan. berjalan tenang mnerobos cucuran air dari langit. tidak merasa tergesa-gesa sehingga harus berlari-lari mencari tempat teduh. membiarkan diriku basah oleh hujan tanpa harus tanganku refleks melindungi kepalaku. kadang-kadang aku ingin kembali lagi menjadi anak kecil yang tersenyum sangat riang ketika air hujan membasahi tubuhnya. berlari-lari, hanyut dalam iramanya.

kalau dipikir-pikir, asik juga hujan-hujanan bersama kekasih..
tanpa kekasih, dengan teman pun juga asik. tapi siapa yang mau menemaniku sekarang? paling-paling mereka hanya menertawakanku atau bernostalgia sendiri.
mereka bilang aku sudah terlalu tua untuk itu.

and finally, i knew the truth.
but still, i keep my faith. like what he said. god always know every pray i made. and im sure, he'll answer it like what i want.
this is only the way to go there.

I just dont know why god put me in a way like this.

A undescriptable relationship and those kind of feelings.

He let me feel the love again but why he keeps me not fallin.

He let him push me away after i got a dream day.

Is this the thing that i should learn?

Why should we keep our feelings?

I’d better never had any confessions from him rather than have to forget all the things he said.

Why he still made me connect to him?

Im tired to face any of this.

This is unfair..

Why he just came along to me then leaving me again?

I cant stop the love that i feel.

why he leave me when i need him so much?

oh no!

this afternoon i found my self sitting in the balcony.
hung up my cellphone and still talk to you.
tears ran down my face.. and its still you.. still you.

your voice there blend with my fears.
whats wrong with me?
there's something huge lock inside my heart.
disapperaed by my tears.

i was scared..
i came to this phase that i dont want to
what should i do??
i cant stop this feeling.
my heart is bleeding. i cant mend it.

i was fall in love..
again.